Are Love Languages Still Relevant?

I am going to start by answering our question directly: are love languages still relevant? Yes! There’s absolutely no doubt about it. I feel so strongly about it because it helped my marriage bloom into the type of relationship that I never even knew was possible. When we focused on each other’s love languages, our marriage soared to new heights. Miscommunications became more scarce, we both felt more understood, and we felt a newfound sense of security with one another.

The simple truth behind it all is that we all experience love in different ways. Knowing which ways resonate most with those closest to us is essential to loving them how God calls us to. For example, acts of service is one of my wife’s primary love languages. When I go out of my way to serve her in ways that show I’m thinking of her, she feels deeply loved. One of my primary love languages is physical touch, so she knows an evening of cuddling will speak to my heart. It all comes down to investing in your spouse and making sure they know how special they are to you.

So why are the love languages still relevant?

Love Languages Show We Understand Each Other

We all have a deep longing to be understood for who we are. You’ve probably felt it before: sometimes you don’t even care if someone likes you, as long as you are understood and respected. If this need to be understood is so strong in casual relationships, how important is it with those closest to us? Love languages show that we understand each other because we have made a special effort to know each other well enough to show our love most powerfully.

This feeling of being understood brings us a deep sense of security, unlike anything we can experience otherwise. We are known and accepted for precisely who we are. Our spouse loves us unconditionally and is willing to show it by speaking into our hearts in ways that are special to us. That brings our love to a whole new level. This same idea of security, commitment, and understanding is true with our friends and family as well.

Love Languages Help Us Meet Each Other’s Needs

Being loved is a real need! Never dismiss those feelings of wanting to be loved as secondary or irrelevant. God created us to love and be loved. As a married person, you experience that between you and your spouse. Outside of that relationship, you can still be loved and show others love through the love languages. For example, perhaps your sibling benefits greatly from words of affirmation. Writing them a letter, speaking encouragement into specific areas of their life will make their heart soar.

God calls us to put the needs of others before our own. Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (NIV). In EVERY relationship, make love languages a priority.

Love Languages are the Fast Track to Each Other’s Hearts

There’s no faster way to reach someone than by speaking directly to their hearts. Love languages enable us to do just that. God wired us to have varied responses to different things so that we can complement each other. He wants us to love one another in profound, inspiring ways. The variance in love languages helps us broaden our perspective in showing love, making love even more relevant to our lives.

Action Steps:

  1. Commit time to take a love languages assessment. The 5 Love Languages’ official website provides free quizzes for you to take no matter what stage of life you find yourself in. The quiz is fast, easy, and the results may change every relationship in your life. There’s no reason not to try it today!
  2. Commit to learning the love languages of those closest to you and putting them into action! Don’t hesitate to share yours with them as well! Make it a mutual effort.

God created us for relationships. How we live out those relationships is critical to our understanding of who we are as God’s children. We must take each relationship in our life seriously and treasure it. One profound way that we do that is through the love languages, making them extremely relevant for us today. Commit to learning the love language of those closest to you, and watch your relationships change for the better.

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